A perfectionist will often think that there is one right solution to everything. And that it’s very important to figure that out. Until it is discovered, a perfectionist can’t make a decision, and continues to weigh all the options. Not only that, but she will also continue to gather more information and never feel finished.

What’s going on? If there is the right answer, then there will be no downsides, no regrets, no mistakes. Alas, there will be no imperfections!

But of course, this isn’t possible. There are pros and cons to everything, and this is a reality perfectionists have a hard time accepting. Life is messy, and we can only make the best decisions with the best information we have at the time.

So be willing to make a decision, and trust that you can handle the negative aspects of that choice. And of course, enjoy the benefits as well!

Click here to view my website.

Share/Bookmark

Is it possible for a perfectionist to be ordinary? For some procrastinators, this is an impossible idea! For a perfectionist, the result needs to be, um, perfect. Anything less than that is intolerable. Being mediocre is not acceptable, and procrastination is the way out.

Why? Because procrastination offers an excuse for mediocracy.

What a relief for a perfectionist to explain that the result of a project is not ideal because it was done in a rush! Why of course it would be a stellar job if done in the right conditions. But alas, how often are the conditions perfect?

Which brings us back to accepting ourselves as being human. What does this mean? It means knowing that we have good days and bad days. That our performance varies according to many conditions, both internal and external. That there is always room for improvement. It means being willing to work at our growing edge and to be open to constructive criticism.

So give it a try and see what results you get. You might be surprised at the positive feedback you receive!

Click here to view my website.

Share/Bookmark

Are you someone who has to do it all by yourself? Is it hard to hand over responsibilities to someone else, not trusting that they’ll do a good enough job? Can you accept a mediocre job, of yourself included? If things have to be done a certain way, and you believe that you are the only one who can deliver, then sometimes the burden can be too much.

When this is the case, procrastination is often a way out.

This could be the only way you know how to find relief from your expectation of perfection. Because then you can blame any flaws of your performance on lack of time.

So what to do? This is a time to:

*Challenge your high expectations of yourself. Let yourself have room for improvement and be ok with a “good enough” job.

*Let others help you. Be open to other ideas and ways of doing things. Loosen up your perfectionist standards and see what other possibilities there are.

And like I said before, enjoy the process!

Click here to view my website.

Share/Bookmark

It might seem counterintuitive, but procrastinators are often perfectionists. Many people who perform well can allow themselves to make mistakes, and understand bad days and setbacks. They are open to self-evaluation and improvement. This is something a procrastinator can’t do as easily. Instead, a procrastinator:

*has unrealistic demands
*strives to do the impossible, and
*can’t accept less than a perfect performance

Sounds like you? Do you get overwhelmed with what you expect of yourself? And to avoid embarrassment, do you stop trying and procrastinate?

Think about setting realistic goals instead. Let yourself have bad days. Take one step at a time. Focus on doing your best instead of evaluating the outcome so harshly. And most importantly, enjoy the process!

More to come…

Click here to view my website.

Share/Bookmark

As stated in the last post on procrastination, this behavior can prevent you from knowing what your true abilities are. By procrastinating, you don’t have the opportunity to do your best, and this is exactly what you want if you fear that you are inherently inadequate. This belief can then cascade into,

I’m not worthy,
I’m not lovable., and
I’m a failure

It is the fear of these beliefs that drive the procrastination. Because it gets down to how you truly feel about yourself, and the judgments you fear from others about your self-worth.

This type of procrastinator would much rather be blamed for being disorganized and unmotivated. Who wouldn’t? If your sense of self is based solely on performance, then that puts a lot of pressure on you to be “perfect.” Which is the topic of my next blog post…

Stay tuned…

Click here to view my website.

Share/Bookmark

I thought I’d take a break from procrastination and talk about the Holidays. This can be a very challenging time to stay relaxed and centered. With all of the planning and doing, stress levels can skyrocket. But does it have to be this way? How can this time be more manageable? Here are a few suggestions:

*Prioritize – only do what is necessary or worth the work if it’s fun. Realize that saying no to something is saying yes to something else. And relaxation and peace of mind counts as something else.

*Manage your time well – Keep a to do list and plan your errands so you get as much done in one trip as possible. Make a special effort to get a little bit done every day, especially if you are a procrastinator.

*Stay focused – Be present with what you are doing. If you find yourself thinking about what still needs to get done, put it on your to do list and let it go for now. Enjoy what you are doing in the moment.

*Relaxation + Action – See if you can be relaxed AS you do something. Usually we are active, then stop for a break to rest. And that’s fine, but you also might want to try staying centered and calm as you go about all of your holiday activities.

Let me know how these tips work for you. Maybe you prefer one over another. Or you could add some of your own. What’s most important is to be mindful, and to make an intention to Stay Relaxed through the Holidays.

Enjoy this special time!

Click here to view my website.

Share/Bookmark

So what happens when we add procrastination into the fear of failure equation? Remember, the equation is:

Self-worth = Ability = Performance

It preserves the connection between self-worth and ability. No matter how you performed, you can always tell yourself that you could do better. If only you hadn’t procrastinated… Imagine how well you would have done if you had put in your all! This prevents you from ever knowing what your true limits are, and maintains the belief that your ability is always better than your performance.

And why does a procrastinator do this? I will talk about this in my next blog post…

Click here to view my website.

Share/Bookmark

Did you recognize yourself in the last blog post? Are you willing to under perform in order to prevent judgment of your best? When you do this, all you are doing is showing how well you produce under pressure. Richard Beery, a psychologist at the University of California at Berkeley, has come up with the following equation for this type of procrastinator:

Self-worth = Ability = Performance

This translates into saying, “If I perform well, that means I have a lot of ability, and so therefore I feel really good about myself.” You measure your sense of worth on how well you perform. You don’t consider if you are having a bad day, or if obstacles come up that are out of your control. Instead you make a direct connection between your level of performance and your sense of self-worth.

Sound familiar? Stay tuned for more…

Click here to visit my website.

Share/Bookmark

So why do we procrastinate? Dr. Jane Burka and Dr. Lenora Yuen take you through the common reasons in their wonderful book, Procrastination. I’m going to review them in my next several blogs. The one I’m going to talk about today is,

The Fear of Failure.

Are you afraid of finding out what your best is? That if you put your all into something, and show it to others, the judgment may be too harsh to bear? What you may do to manage this intolerable feeling is to procrastinate. When the project is finished in a rush, you can then tell yourself, “It’s not my best because I didn’t have the time to make it so.”

In other words, you didn’t fail because it’s not your best. “I can always do that next time,” you tell yourself. And the next time never comes, because of your fear of failure.

If you recognize yourself in this dynamic, stay with me, because I’ll be exploring this more…

Click here to view my website.

Share/Bookmark

Do you tend to wait until the last minute to do something? Do you claim to work better under pressure? Do you find yourself dissatisfied with results because you didn’t give yourself enough time? Does putting things off until the last minute negatively impact your personal and work relationships?

You might be suffering from chronic procrastination.

The first thing I suggest doing is to stop beating yourself up about it. You’ve probably been procrastinating for a long time, and it’s not going to stop over night.

But there are ways to address it, and that’s what I’m going to talk about in the next several posts.

For now, notice what thoughts, emotions and beliefs lead to your procrastination. Be curious and learn about it. You might want to keep a journal so that the pattern you act out becomes clearer for you. Then as you follow this blog, you will get insights and tips on how to address this habit.

Until next time…

Click here to view my website.

Share/Bookmark