Thanksgiving is almost here. What a great time to practice your communication skills! This can be a challenging time for relationships, no matter how much you enjoy your family gatherings. So it’s best to be prepared and have your tips on hand.
First, however, you want to identify the beginnings of a tension buildup. Do you hold your breath? Do your shoulders or stomach tighten up? Do you get the familiar sense of foreboding in your gut? Or maybe you notice someone’s voice getting louder, or someone else shuts down. Whatever the signs, this is the moment to intervene with your communication strategy. Remember to:
*Stay calm. Take some deep breaths and tell yourself that you do not own the problem. The person’s feelings are about her/him.
*Be curious. Become interested in what you are hearing, no matter how much you might disagree.
*Empathize. Try to put yourself in the other’s shoes. See if you can try on a different perspective.
*Recap. Repeat back what you hear to be sure you understood the message.
*Take responsibility for your feelings. If you start getting worked up, remind yourself that your feeling are yours, and there is a reason why you are reactive. See if you can choose a more productive response.
And finally, start your holiday with a positive intention. This can do wonders to help create a calm and joyful experience. You can’t control other people, but you can control your attitude and reactions to others. See if you can create a Thanksgiving gathering that you can truly be thankful for!
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