Now that you are focusing on one issue, and speaking in a way that your partner can hear you, are you still having difficulty not blaming? Here’s another tip:
Use this as an opportunity for your own self-discovery.
That’s right. This issue is about you, and your feelings, thoughts and opinions. There is a reason you are responding the way you are. This is what you want to share with your partner. You want to identify your trigger and go deeper inside of yourself, until you and your partner fully understand it.
This is asking you to take a risk and be more vulnerable. It’s asking you to go into some deep inner places that you have worked hard to hide. But if you are committed to bettering your communication and increasing intimacy with your partner, this is what you need to do.
Otherwise, you will continue to play the blame game. Which has likely increased the bitterness between you as well as eroded your self-esteem. Imagine this, if your partner started talking about why he reacted the way he did, and explored deeply inside of himself to understand his behavior better, would you be listening?
I encourage you to give it a try.
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