Do you feel differently once you become self-reflective and identify your triggers? If you realize that what you are upset about is really about you, then you are on the right track. Which brings me to the next tip,
Take responsibility for your feelings/reactions.
If you think about it, there are very different ways to respond to many situations. When we respond reflexively, we assume that there is no other way to react. And we often assume that our response is the “correct”, or “appropriate” one. Why is that? Because we are reacting from our defensive mode, which is full of raw, and usually old, feelings. If it feels so true then it must be true, right?
Wrong. It’s right in terms of it being about unresolved feelings inside of you. But it may not be the best way to respond to the situation at hand. And one way to get past this is to own your reaction. To acknowledge that you could be projecting past experiences onto the present. To realize that your response can be a conscious one. That you have power, and can influence the outcome of the interaction.
And once you start engaging with your partner this way, you may be surprised at how much calmer and more productive conversations become. Let me know how it goes!
Click here to view my website.
