Now that you’ve set your goal of being heard by your partner, it’s time to speak. And you probably have a lot to say! Not only do you want to talk about what happened, but there are all of the other related stories as well. Before you know it, your partner is feeling overwhelmed by the immensity of the issue. Sound familiar?
That’s why it’s important to focus on one issue at a time. And to keep the issue about the particular incident you are talking about. This requires a lot of restraint. But it’s well worth it. Why?
Because if you can effectively communicate around one issue related to one incident, then you will be able to do the same the next time it comes up. It’s more important to learn the process of communication than to solve an issue right away. As you repeat this process over time, you will find that the issue will no longer be there, or it will be less charged.
Really, give it a try!
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